by Shel Silverstein 


I've never roped a Brahma bull,

I've never fought a duel,

I've never crossed the desert

On a lop-eared, swayback mule,

I've never climbed an idol's nose

To steal a curs├Ęd jewel.


I've never gone down with my ship

Into the bubblin' brine,

I've never saved a lion's life

And then had him save mine,

Or screamed Ahoooo while swingin' through

The jungle on a vine.


I've never dealt draw poker

In a rowdy lumber camp,

Or got up at the count of nine

To beat the world's champ,

I've never had my picture on

A six-cent postage stamp.


I've never scored a touchdown

On a ninety-nine-yard run,

I've never winged six Daltons

With my dying brother's gun...

Or kissed Miz Jane, and rode my hoss

Into the setting sun.

Sometimes I get so depressed

'Bout what I haven't done.


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