Gorilla

Since I brought my gorilla to school,

Everyone's nicer to me.

The teacher's more pleasant,

The kids bring me presents,

The principal serves me

Bran muffins and tea.

If I'm tardy, they say, "Oh, don't worry."

If I'm absent, they don't give me a hoot.

If my desk is a mess or I'm sloppily dressed

Or I snooze on my desk,

Or I cheat on a test, they say,

"Isn't that cute."

If I don't know my lessons,

I just take a guess and whatever I guess,

Teacher screams out, "That's right!"

And big bully Slick

Has been stayin' home sick,

Afraid that I'll trick him right into a fight.

I'm welcome to munch upon anyone's lunch,

And I was just voted "Most clever and cool."

Though I chew gum and play,

My report card's all As

Since the day I first brought

My gorilla to school.