by Shel Silverstein
Since I brought my gorilla to school,
Everyone's nicer to me.
The teacher's more pleasant,
The kids bring me presents,
The principal serves me
Bran muffins and tea.
If I'm tardy, they say, "Oh, don't worry."
If I'm absent, they don't give me a hoot.
If my desk is a mess or I'm sloppily dressed
Or I snooze on my desk,
Or I cheat on a test, they say,
"Isn't that cute."
If I don't know my lessons,
I just take a guess and whatever I guess,
Teacher screams out, "That's right!"
And big bully Slick
Has been stayin' home sick,
Afraid that I'll trick him right into a fight.
I'm welcome to munch upon anyone's lunch,
And I was just voted "Most clever and cool."
Though I chew gum and play,
My report card's all As
Since the day I first brought
My gorilla to school.